week 8

This is my last full week in the state of California (this summer at least).  We are leaving next Monday to go to South Carolina for some more FCAV camps, and then we only have a few more days in Cali once we are back from South Carolina. :(  I have mixed feelings about leaving.  I am so grateful that God has allowed me to come be in a solid, loving community, but I am also exctied to see what God does once I go back to my community in Arkansas.

After a week off of our normal schedule, we are back to our normal work schedule.  We had camp at Mariners Christian School where most of the girls in the small group I leave are from.  It's so fun to get to know them more and more and see how God is working in their lives.  I was the camp director at our last camp, and this week i have a much smaller role- assistant court coach.  When I was camp director, it was so much easier to rely on God's strength because it was a big task that I had not done before. As assistant court coach my role is to lead a session or two and encourage/ critique players.  Technically it is an "easier" job than being camp director, but I forget that I need God just as much.  It is easy for me to forget God in the "small" areas of my life.  I think that I can do it on my own because I have done it before.  I might be able to get through these areas without focusing on God, but doing these things without focusing on Him is not doing things the way He wants to do them.  If I were to focus on God even in the small things in life, I would be able to hear from Him better, and be able to do things in His will and purpose and not my own. 

As I have mentioned in previous blog posts, I am learning to play volleyball with God.  Just as beginning any relationship, including our relationship with Christ, takes intentionality and communication, learning to play volleyball with God takes practice and focus.  This week I was able to hear from God as I played more than ever!  Before practice I read the verse Philippians 4:4-9,
"Rejoice in the Lord always... Let your gentleness be evident to all because the Lord is near. Do not be anxious abut ANYTHING but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts in Christ Jesus. Finally brothers, whatever is true.. noble.. right.. pure.. lovely.. admireble.. focus on these things."
Before practice I asked myself, "what would this look like on the vb court? To be so secure in Christ that I wasn't anxious about anything. No anxiety about messing up, about winning or losing, about what others think of me, about my stats...? I think that others can know that we are playing with God by the peace and gentleness and confidence I have. It seems crazy that God would ask me to apply this to a sport that is full of competition and sressful moments.

During practice God gave me many opportunites to apply this verse.   I practiced with FCAV and was asked to set because there weren't enough setters. I was setting D1 players and against a US national setter and I'm not even a setter! Did I do a good job as a setter? NOT AT ALL!  There were so many moments of anxiety. I sure didn't apply that scripture perfectly in the beginning. I was frustrated with myself, afraid that others were frustrated with me, constanly comparing myself to the other setter (I was the better one ;) ).

 One of my teammates came up to me and could tell I was frutstrated. He said something simple, "Its okay.  We love you and God still loves you.  You are free to make mistakes. It's going to happen." Through that accountability, I was able to refocus and find my freedom and identity in Christ. I still made plenty of  mistakes after, but my faith and identity was not shaken. I had more peace after that and was able to walk out of the gym without questioning my identity as I would have in the past. I don't even remember if we won or lost the game (I think we lost)!  Winning or losing and my performance didn't matter compared to getting to know Christ more in that practice.  Isn't is so cool that we can grow in our faith on a volleyball court?

God revealed Himself in so many ways to me and the other interns on Thursday.  For me personally, I got to encounter God through the teaching that we had after our workout.  A man named Gus from Athletes in Action came and spoke to us about loving God more.  As Gus shared parts of his testimony with us, i felt as if God was sitting in that room speaking to us.  Gus had such an intimate relationship with God unlike I had ever seen before.  He didn't just know about God, he really knew God and loved God.  I was in tears.  Gus understands the purpose of life- to know God more.  The way he loved God, life, his family and others is something I desire to have.  Even the hug he gave me put me in tears.  It felt as if Jesus gave me that hug.

All of the camps and training we have been doing have been preparing us for our South Carolina trip!  We are leaving on Monday at 4am!  I will be a gym director and huddle leader and expect God to do some pretty neat things!  Can't wait to blog about it :)