Senior year- adversity

Just want to say thank you to all of you! My college volleyball careeer ended in November and it was the most challenging, yet best season I've had. I couldn't have done it without the experience I gained through the summer internship and through the strength I received from God.  I felt like sharing this with you guys. Sorry it's long, but if you have a few minutes, I hope you find encouragement through reading it.

2 Corinthians 12:9
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

After my internship, I learned more what it meant to play with freedom. I felt so much joy when I played that year. The end of my junior year I asked god to teach me to play with freedom in the midst of adversity. Sure enough he answered my prayer over the next 8 months during my senior season.

My mom, who was my #1 fan, had been battling Colon cancer for the past 6 years. She had gotten really sick In April and went to the hospital. She got a little better over the summer but then got more sick right when my season started.

I was going to school, playing volleyball, trying to pour into my team as a captain, trying to run Fca on my campus, and driving to see my mom at the hospital as much as I could.

During preseason practices i was planning a funeral knowing that mom probably only had a few days or weeks to live.  I was exhausted from practices and not sleeping well in the hospital and frustrated that I couldn't live a normal life like the rest of my college teammates. Every day was challenging because I had to decide daily if I should go to class, play volleyball or spend a few hours with my mom.

Volleyball became different for me. Playing became more of a coping mechanism than something I did because I loved it.  I struggled to bring energy to my team because my mind  was still in the hospital room.  To me it felt like I wasn't playing with freedom compared to my definition of freedom I experienced my junior year right after the internship.

I wanted to enjoy my senior season and finish well, but it took everything I had to just be present on the court.  I remembered the prayer that I had the end of my junior yeAr and realized that God was answering it.

Sometimes I thought freedom was impossible. Even though it wasn't pretty or perfect and freedom was hard to fight for daily,  the adversity I faced caused me to depend more on God cause I couldn't have made it on my own strength.

My mom passed away September 22.   I played in a match the next day and practiced just a few hours after the funeral. Crazy, I know.

Somehow through all of the adversity and fighting for freedom on and off the volleyball court, I had my best season.  I look back and am amazed by what God did. All I can say is that God  is good. We are blessed. He is all we need.

God continues to work

 

Just because my volleyball season is over, doesn't mean God is done using me.  After season ended I felt like everything that I focused on for the last nine months ended just like that.  From February when I found out I got the internship and began off-season practices, to late May when I got to Cali and began the most increadible experience of my life, to Ausust when I returned to Arkansas and wondered how God was going to use me to be a leader on my team, and to November when my season ended before I was ready.  I cried many tears.  I was so sad that the season was over, but in awe of all that God had done.  I asked myself, "Now what?" 

After spending a few weeks reflecting, resting, and getting my grades back up, one of my teammates and close friends spent a lot of time together praying and talking about FCA.  There was talk about getting it restarted by another athletes, but things fell through and they weren't able to lead it. 

I kept feeling a tug on my heart about FCA after season.   I remembered when I went to an FCA huddle my freshman year and wondered who would lead it after the current leader left.  Even before I knew about the internship, I felt like God was putting that leadership position on my heart even though I was terrified of the idea at the time. 

My teammate and I had some meetings with the athletic director and sent an email out to coaches.  We had no idea what this was going to look like or if anyone would even be interested.  Soon after,we got some responses from coaches who gave us names of players that might be interested in being a part of FCA, and one email from the new tennis coach who asked us to come to his office to talk about this.  It was such a blessing to meet the tennis coach who had served with FCA for many years at the high school he used to coach at.  He gave us many resources and ideas and encouraged us to get this going.

A few weeks after we returned from Christmas break, we had our first FCA leadership team meeting with about 20 other JBU athletes, the tennis coach, and a local FCA area directer who were interested in this idea.  We met weekly for about a month to define what FCA was going to look like on our campus and figuring out what gifts we had that we could use to serve our campus and community through FCA.  We now have 6 different committtes that our leadership team is serving in.  Our first kick-off event  is in a week from today where all JBU athletes and students are invited to hear what FCA is all about!

I am so blessed to have this community of athletes who love God and want to serve their community and learn what it means to be a better leader on their teams. 

A year ago I would have never expected this to happen or believed that God could use me.  One thing I learned is that "God doesn't always call the equipped, but He will equip those He calls."  Not feeling equipped caused me to depend on Him and trust Him more, which created room for God to do bigger things than I could have ever imagined.   Check out these links to see more about FCA at JBU  http://advocate.jbu.edu/?q=node/734                     http://advocate.jbu.edu/?q=node/708