Life after the internship

As scared and nervous as I was about coming back home, God has been with me and already doing some pretty awesome things on my team.  I didn't know what things would look like on my team when I got back.  I knew that my team was full of wonderful girls who loved God and wanted to play for Him but there is a big difference in doing things for God and with God.  I am also one of the four captains on my team this season and didn't know what my role would be. 

It has only been a week but the way I play and view my team is so different than any other season.  I don't see my teammates as competition for playing time, get mad at them as easily when they mess up, and have been more intentional with them on and off the court. 

I have been able to talk to some of my teammates about my summer and how God has changed the way I play volleyball.  There are a few girls on my team who are really interested in the idea of laying with God and how to have freedom when we play. 

Last night we watched a video "Beware of Christians," and had great discussions after as a team.  I was in tears because it made me think so much of California and the vision that God gave me of this team.  What I experienced in California is beginning to happen on my team (only without the beach and the nice weather). ;) Many of the girls opened up about convictions and visions for the team.

One of my roles as a captain is to bring the team together for prayer and I have also gotten permission to lead "refocus moments."  I never thought that would happen! 

Today I got to lead a devo about playing with freedom.  I got to share about what God showed me this summer- identity, comparison, success, and playing with God.  It is something that I am still learning but it is exciting to connect with God and my teammates every time I step on the court.  I'm beginning to notice a change in my teammates. Praise God!

Why do I doubt God? He has already done so much more in the last few days than I expected to happened this season. 

Week 10

I have been dreading the last week all summer.  This has by far been the best summer of my life and I have not been looking forward to going back home.

The last week was full of packing, watching the Olympics (Go Christa!), last trips to Banzai bowl and frozen yogurt, last teaching talks,workouts, and saying our goodbyes/ see ya laters.  It was definitely a very emotional week for me and I wasn't ready to leave.  I have never been in a community that was so loving and so accepting and was so intentional of knowing God more.  I had the fear that I was never going to have anything like that again. 

Through out the week, I had received so much affirmation from FCAV and from God that something great was going to happen back at home and that this time, God was going back with me.  As Meghan would say, "You don't have to go back, you get to go back."  After my meeting with the staff, I was beginning to get excited about going home. 

The night before we all left was one of the best nights of the summer. After eating dinner at BJs and enjoying our last pizzookie, we went back to the house for a surprise.  When we walked into the house, all the lights were off and candles were lit.  We began the night by walking around the house and allowing God to remind us of all of the memories and conversations that took place.  That alone put me in tears but that was just the beginning of it.  After walking around the house, we sat and prayed/ journaled about what God revealed to us this summer and had a time of worship. During all of this we got to write down our thoughts on a big poster board and paint a big canvas.  So many powerful words and images were painted. Lastly, all of the interns had our feet washed by the FCAV staff.  During one of our prayer/ journal sessions we were given a piece of paper with all of our teammates names on it from back home.  As soon as I saw the names I started crying... again.  I new God had something big planned for these girls! 

I think one of the biggest verses that hit me this summer was actually the first one I read on my flight to California.  Jesus says in Luke 17:20-21, "The kingdom of God does not come with your careful observation, nor will people say, 'here it is, or there it is, because the kingdom of God is within you." No matter if I am in California, back in Arkansas, on or off the volleyball court, God is WITH me wherever I go. :)

Week 9

     Sorry (Graeme) that I'm a little late in writing this blog post. It was a busy last two weeks in South Carolina and getting ready to go home.

Week 9 we went to South Carolina for a big FCAV camp. There were about 30 coaches across the country that came to meet us in South Carolina to coach and be huddle leaders at the camp.  It's amazing to see the talent that God brought together to impact His kingdom through volleyball. My assistant coach from JBU got to come too so it was so great to see her and allow her to see part of what I was able to experience over the summer!  I'm so excited to see what she brings to the team this upcoming season! 

Before camp, we did lots of training, playing and some bonding time at the lake.  We went to Clemson where the dream of FCAV first began.  It's crazy that the vision started in South Carolina but has spread all over the country and the world! 

The camps we ran in Cali were partnered with private schools and were only about 3 hours long. South Carolina was much different.  We partnered with 28 public schools, 2 Christian schools which came to a total of about 300 campers.  We had very busy days: 2 practices, meals with the campers, huddle groups, and a message at night.  We were exhausted but it was so worth it.  My role was to be a gym director, coach and huddle leader.  I was over four teams in one gym and took on the "spiritual leader" role.  My job was to maintain a free, positive, and hardworking atmosphere.  I lead refocus moments to make sure that every one's minds were on the right track- focusing on God and others rather than mistakes, stress, and pride.  I also helped coach a team during practices and lead their huddle group after messages. 

After getting to visit UCLA FCA camp earlier in the summer, I was looking forward to going to South Carolina and running camp.  I had a blast and loved the environment at UCLA.  South Carolina was probably one of the toughest weeks for me though.  I felt like Satan was constantly attacking me which affected my energy and confidence as a leader the first day of camp.  The first night of huddles were okay, but not as good as I expected.  At that point I decided to give my struggles to God.  Although I had been looking forward to this week for so long, this week was not about me.  It was about impacting the girls I coached and serving God as I did it.  Once I switched my mentality the week got better.

The second night at camp was one of the greatest nights of the summer.  We had our message in the volleyball gym and used the court as our stage. We began by playing a volleyball game to introduce the idea that doing life with God leads to freedom.  This was one of the most exciting games that I have ever played in and I believed that it was eye opening to the 300 campers in the stands.  Even though was having a rough few days, I felt peace, joy and freedom in this game.  The ironic thing is that this could have easily been one of the most frustrating games that I have ever played in.  On the court were several current/ former division 1 players, girls who trained for the U.S. national team, and me who plays at a little school in Arkansas.  I intentionally practiced playing with God in this game, especially because I needed Him so much that week.  I was not worried about the score, who was on the other side of the net, what position I was playing.  I was so focused on the moment of encountering God as I played volleyball and the love of the teammates around me and the opponents on the other side of the net.  It was a beautiful thing.

Unfortunately this is not how most of the world plays volleyball or lives life.  We play or live life with stress and fear.  We compare so easily and find our identity and success in the thing we do rather than in God.  This game was a perfect message to the campers and so many great conversations happened in the huddle groups after.  In my group, almost all of the girls opened up about deep issues in their life, half of the girls were in tears and wanting more of Jesus in their life, and a few of the recommitted their lives. 

On the last day of camp we ran a tournament for the teams.  My team played well all day and won their pool.  I could tell that they were playing with God by the peace and freedom and love for their teammates that they showed.  When it came to the final match though, things began to change.  There was more pressure in this game than the previous games.  In the finals, the girls played in front of the rest of the campers, had more pressure from their coach, and the cost of winning  or losing. The girls weren't playing well and were very stressed as they played.  I did my best to encourage them from the sidelines but it didn't change their stress level or mine.  We lost the first set and the second set got off to an even worse start.  During the timeout I was asked to pray for freedom.  I have never prayed in a timeout so it was a little different for me.  As I prayed, I felt a huge sense of peace come over me, and the girls said they felt it too.  The girls went out and began to play so much better.  They didn't end up winning, but they felt more freedom.  We had more great conversations in our huddles after about playing with freedom.  It's so cool that God did all that through a volleyball camp!
praying huddle