This week has been one of the most challenging but one of the most joyful weeks I have had. It has been awesome! I feel like I am experiencing and understaning the verse 2 Corinthians 12:10 ~ "For when I am weak, then I am strong."
Before I came here I honestly didn't think I was "good enough" to come here. I knew that FCAV was about developing leaders and there was no way I would have ever considered myself a leader. I could give you a million reasons why me being a leader was a bad idea. I replayed the lies of satan in my mind over and over which prevented me from accepting God's love understanding who Christ has called me to be. When I thought about being a leader I thought that I had to be someone or follow in the footsteps of others. Yes, it is good to have role models, but when you are only looking to them it creates a pressure that you have to be someone. When I thought about being a coach, I thought it had to be done a specifice way. I constantly beat myself up when I messed up and thought that I wouldn't be a good coach.
God has given me a boldness to try new things, but once i fail I become scared to put myself in the same situation (sports, jobs, relationships...). The truth is that we are not perfect and we are going to fail. God isn't mad at us when we fail. All He wants is for us to trust Him and learn from Him through the process.
Last week I was able to heal me of different areas of my life and allow me to trust Him and find my identity completely in Him before anything else. I began to stop believing all of the lies of "I can't and I'm not good enough to." I was able to accept His love and seek Him with my whole heart. Fully surrendering to Him creates freedom to do what He has called us to do.
Since then I have had increadible opportunities to be used by God. Last week I was able to minister to some people at beach fest and grow even closer to the girls here. Then someone had a crazy idea to make me camp director at the next camp we went to. At the beginning of the summer I knew that at some point I was most likely going to be camp director and honeslty I was not excited about it.
When I found out i was going to be camp director, initially I was a little hesistant but knew this was going to be a test of faith and something I knew God wanted me to do. I had some doubts because I would be the first intern to be camp director and I found out the night before camp. My role as camp director would be to come up with the spiritual focuses of the week, talk about them at camp, get speakers, and create a free and loving atmosphere for the campers- Oh boy!
There were brief moments that i thought I had to do it all on my own, but then I remembered how impossible that was. I can't do ANYTHING on my own! God is with me and He will give me the ideas, the strength, the energy and the peace. Once I surrendered to Him and recognized that I wasn't alone, there was so much joy and freedom. I was starting to get excited about this position because I knew that it was a chance to get to know God better and trust Him more. :)
Once I surrendered the planning of this camp to Him, my job was easy- to follow Him. He gave me clear direction on what to talk about. The topics I spoke on were things I had dealt with/ am learning now. At every FCAV camp the weekly focus is to play with God and each day there is a daily focus within playing with God.
Day 1: Who we are with God (identity)
Day 2: Taking Risks with God (Trusitng God)
Day 3: Loving others with God (Joy)
This camp was a little different than most of the camps we go to. This camp was outside, co-ed, 5th-8th graders, and most of the kids had never played volleyball and didn't care to be there. It was awesome seeing all the coaches adjust and love on this kids. Some of the kids were harder to love, but the coaches never stopped loving them! It was so amazing to see how God worked this week!
Long story short: "God does not call the equipped, He equips His callers."
Other than camp, the second best part of the week was the training we had this morning at CDM. John Winder and Andy Hein (US national players) came to train us in sand vb. We have been playing quite a bit, but it was such a cool experience to be lead by Christian US National players who applied their faith to their sport.
Check out the video from our camps!
http://vimeo.com/44987652
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Week 5
My summer is almost halfway over. The thought of leaving makes me so sad. I've definitely had thoughts about moving out here one day!
Saturday we had a beach day and invited the whole FCA volleyball family out to enjoy one another. It is beautiful to see such a loving and welcoming family interact with each other. The community here is unlike anything I have ever experienced before. FCAV has a goal to simply know God more and from that there is an overflow of genuine love that invites others in. I have never felt as valued and loved as I have here. This is the kind of love that draws people in, allows people to be vulnerable with one another, and grow with one another. This love can only be from God.
God is teaching me so much. I am getting to know Him more and He is reminding me who I am to Him. I've been a Christian for so long but have never fully accepted God's love which has prevented me from accepting others love. God has reminded me of His grace and desire to be with Him. He has satisfied every need of mine and given me a new joy and peace even in the midst of trials.
On Wednesday we got to go line dancing. It was quite the experience. I have never been line dancing before other than what I learned in middle school gym class. We didn't get to the place early enough to actually learn the dances so we went out on the dance floor having no idea what we were doing. I'm pretty sure I was never facing the right direction which made line dancing both funny and frustrating. I did get to learn how to two-step though!
Today we went to Huntington beach and got to set up a booth at Beach Fest (a Christan ministry event). Before we set up I got to go down to the sand courts and play with my friend, Mary and a few other girls who were training for the AVP. Mary and I weren't quite at their level but it was such a neat experience. I would love to be able to come out here one day to train. Maybe i won't go to the AVP, but I'd love to see where God takes my passions.
Back at the booth we had the opportunity to tell others about FCAV. At first it was hard to figure out who would be interested in a volleyball ministry. Some of the people i talked to were volleyball players or knew of volleyball players, but most of them had no interest in volleyball. Although I was able to connect a few people with FCAV, I realized that the main goal wasn't to connect them with FCAV, but to Jesus. There was such a diverse group of people who came by the booth.
One guy played some volleyball for fun, but His passion was with motorcycles. He expressed that he wanted to combine his passions for motorcycles and God but didn't see how that was possible.
I began to tell Him how FCAV got started- simply a passion for God and volleyball. I saw his face light up when he realized that He could do something similar with his passion for motorcycles. It is so cool that God has given us passions and unique giftings to bring Him glory!
Another guy I talked to named Rick had no reason to be at an FCAV booth. Rick was about 60 year old and didn't look like the athletic type. I almost ignored him at first because i didn't think that he would be interested in FCAV, but then I began a 20 minute long conversation with him. Within one minute of talking to him he told me that he had a gambling and alcohol addiction. Though I couldn't personally relate to these problems, I was able to tell him about people in my life who struggled with the same thing. Rick also mentioned that he was homeless and had been living in his car for the past 10 years. He told me that he was a Christian but Satan was bringing him down and was being controlled by so many things. He said he felt guilty all the time for giving into sin and not staying on the path that God had for him. Long story short, I was able to pray for Rick at the end of our conversation. Although I didn't get Him connected with FCAV, hopefully He was able to connect with Jesus! :)
Next week (Monday- Wednseday) I will be camp director for our camp! I'm excited and nervous about it but I know that it's going to teach me to rely on God more than ever. I have learned that I am willing to be bold and try new things, but when I fail i don't want to put myself in the same position again. I'm sure there will be many times that I will fail as camp director, but as long as i continue to trust God, it will all work out. Can't wait to tell you guys about it next week! :)
Saturday we had a beach day and invited the whole FCA volleyball family out to enjoy one another. It is beautiful to see such a loving and welcoming family interact with each other. The community here is unlike anything I have ever experienced before. FCAV has a goal to simply know God more and from that there is an overflow of genuine love that invites others in. I have never felt as valued and loved as I have here. This is the kind of love that draws people in, allows people to be vulnerable with one another, and grow with one another. This love can only be from God.
God is teaching me so much. I am getting to know Him more and He is reminding me who I am to Him. I've been a Christian for so long but have never fully accepted God's love which has prevented me from accepting others love. God has reminded me of His grace and desire to be with Him. He has satisfied every need of mine and given me a new joy and peace even in the midst of trials.
On Wednesday we got to go line dancing. It was quite the experience. I have never been line dancing before other than what I learned in middle school gym class. We didn't get to the place early enough to actually learn the dances so we went out on the dance floor having no idea what we were doing. I'm pretty sure I was never facing the right direction which made line dancing both funny and frustrating. I did get to learn how to two-step though!
Today we went to Huntington beach and got to set up a booth at Beach Fest (a Christan ministry event). Before we set up I got to go down to the sand courts and play with my friend, Mary and a few other girls who were training for the AVP. Mary and I weren't quite at their level but it was such a neat experience. I would love to be able to come out here one day to train. Maybe i won't go to the AVP, but I'd love to see where God takes my passions.
Back at the booth we had the opportunity to tell others about FCAV. At first it was hard to figure out who would be interested in a volleyball ministry. Some of the people i talked to were volleyball players or knew of volleyball players, but most of them had no interest in volleyball. Although I was able to connect a few people with FCAV, I realized that the main goal wasn't to connect them with FCAV, but to Jesus. There was such a diverse group of people who came by the booth.
One guy played some volleyball for fun, but His passion was with motorcycles. He expressed that he wanted to combine his passions for motorcycles and God but didn't see how that was possible.
I began to tell Him how FCAV got started- simply a passion for God and volleyball. I saw his face light up when he realized that He could do something similar with his passion for motorcycles. It is so cool that God has given us passions and unique giftings to bring Him glory!
Another guy I talked to named Rick had no reason to be at an FCAV booth. Rick was about 60 year old and didn't look like the athletic type. I almost ignored him at first because i didn't think that he would be interested in FCAV, but then I began a 20 minute long conversation with him. Within one minute of talking to him he told me that he had a gambling and alcohol addiction. Though I couldn't personally relate to these problems, I was able to tell him about people in my life who struggled with the same thing. Rick also mentioned that he was homeless and had been living in his car for the past 10 years. He told me that he was a Christian but Satan was bringing him down and was being controlled by so many things. He said he felt guilty all the time for giving into sin and not staying on the path that God had for him. Long story short, I was able to pray for Rick at the end of our conversation. Although I didn't get Him connected with FCAV, hopefully He was able to connect with Jesus! :)
Next week (Monday- Wednseday) I will be camp director for our camp! I'm excited and nervous about it but I know that it's going to teach me to rely on God more than ever. I have learned that I am willing to be bold and try new things, but when I fail i don't want to put myself in the same position again. I'm sure there will be many times that I will fail as camp director, but as long as i continue to trust God, it will all work out. Can't wait to tell you guys about it next week! :)
Saturday, June 16, 2012
week 4
It's already been a month! This summer is going by way too fast. It's definitley going to be hard to leave. My mom got to come visit and I got to spend some time with her when I had some free time.
This week we got to help with and run some camps. The first camp we helped with was sponsored by in-n-out for foster kids and we got to lead them through basic drills- I had the ladder station! :) We couldn't explicitly share our faith the way we would at the camps we run, but we got to love on these kids and speak truth into their lives.
We ran our first camp this week at Salem Lutheran. It was so fun and yet so different than any other camp I have been to or coached. Coaches were being intentional in making Christ the center of camp by finding simple ways to allow the girls to get their minds forcused on the eternal. At the beginning of camp the director for the week made sure the girls knew that they were valued regardless of ability and that mistakes were going to happen but don't define them. There was so much freedom for the girls to play in an environment like this. It was obvious that the camers understood what playing with God meant. At the end of camp, one of the younger campers closed with a simple prayer. "Dear Jesus, thank you for being here with us and playing volleyball with us. Amen."
One of our tasks is to create a project that helps save the world through volleyball. Maggie and I decided to create a blog that allows coaches and player to share how their faith has impacted how they play and coach. check out the website: http://playingstronglivingstrong.blogspot.com/.
Personally, I feel like I am learning so much spiritually and constantly learning from God. One of the best things about this internship is our sabbath days. I have always known that the Sabbath was important but it is so hard to do as a college athlete. Having a Sabbath day has been so great and has allowed God to speak to me and give me rest. In college I constantly filled my time with more thing to do for God but never had the time to process all that He was teaching me or even time to rest. I thought that by doing more I would be more successful but God wants to spend time with us and allow us to rest.
This week we got to help with and run some camps. The first camp we helped with was sponsored by in-n-out for foster kids and we got to lead them through basic drills- I had the ladder station! :) We couldn't explicitly share our faith the way we would at the camps we run, but we got to love on these kids and speak truth into their lives.
We ran our first camp this week at Salem Lutheran. It was so fun and yet so different than any other camp I have been to or coached. Coaches were being intentional in making Christ the center of camp by finding simple ways to allow the girls to get their minds forcused on the eternal. At the beginning of camp the director for the week made sure the girls knew that they were valued regardless of ability and that mistakes were going to happen but don't define them. There was so much freedom for the girls to play in an environment like this. It was obvious that the camers understood what playing with God meant. At the end of camp, one of the younger campers closed with a simple prayer. "Dear Jesus, thank you for being here with us and playing volleyball with us. Amen."
One of our tasks is to create a project that helps save the world through volleyball. Maggie and I decided to create a blog that allows coaches and player to share how their faith has impacted how they play and coach. check out the website: http://playingstronglivingstrong.blogspot.com/.
Personally, I feel like I am learning so much spiritually and constantly learning from God. One of the best things about this internship is our sabbath days. I have always known that the Sabbath was important but it is so hard to do as a college athlete. Having a Sabbath day has been so great and has allowed God to speak to me and give me rest. In college I constantly filled my time with more thing to do for God but never had the time to process all that He was teaching me or even time to rest. I thought that by doing more I would be more successful but God wants to spend time with us and allow us to rest.
Monday, June 11, 2012
Week 3
I have almost been here for three weeks now and I am starting to get used to our schedule. This week has been full of more camp training and of course more intense workouts and lots of sand volleyball (unless Graeme decides to forget the balls).
Last Saturday we got to go down to Laguna beach and play sand for a while. At first it started out with just FCAV, but after a few hours we had 10 new people there who we got to talk to and play with. There have been so many unique ministry opportunities!
One of the main things we try to focus on is the idea of playing WITH God and not just FOR God. I have always tried to play FOR God, but am now beginning to fall in love with the idea of playing with God as I invite Him to the court with me. I have often separated my faith from my sport. I might pray before games, but when it comes to be game time, I think I can handle it on my own. I try to play for God by giving my all, working hard, respecting authority ... but i still feel the fear of messing up, what my coaches will think and keep track of my own failures. I am beginning to see that playing with God brings peace, joy, and freedom. After all, God created volleyball and created us and loves watching us play the game He created!
Every Sunday we spend about 3 hours working on a personal project. We were asked to come up with a project that will save the world through volleyball. My friend Maggie and I have created a blog that connects coaches and players and allows them to share how they see and experience God in their sport. (I'll post the link to it next week).
I have been feeling God working in my heart more and more. I am beginning to trust Him more and desire to spend more and more time with Him and also experience Him within the things that I do, including volleyball. I can't wait to see what He does next week! :)
Last Saturday we got to go down to Laguna beach and play sand for a while. At first it started out with just FCAV, but after a few hours we had 10 new people there who we got to talk to and play with. There have been so many unique ministry opportunities!
One of the main things we try to focus on is the idea of playing WITH God and not just FOR God. I have always tried to play FOR God, but am now beginning to fall in love with the idea of playing with God as I invite Him to the court with me. I have often separated my faith from my sport. I might pray before games, but when it comes to be game time, I think I can handle it on my own. I try to play for God by giving my all, working hard, respecting authority ... but i still feel the fear of messing up, what my coaches will think and keep track of my own failures. I am beginning to see that playing with God brings peace, joy, and freedom. After all, God created volleyball and created us and loves watching us play the game He created!
Every Sunday we spend about 3 hours working on a personal project. We were asked to come up with a project that will save the world through volleyball. My friend Maggie and I have created a blog that connects coaches and players and allows them to share how they see and experience God in their sport. (I'll post the link to it next week).
I have been feeling God working in my heart more and more. I am beginning to trust Him more and desire to spend more and more time with Him and also experience Him within the things that I do, including volleyball. I can't wait to see what He does next week! :)
Saturday, June 2, 2012
Week 2
I have now been here for a week and a half. It still feel like i've known these girls for so long! It's been a busy week full of many tasks to accomplish for FCA volleyball and doing our workouts.
The weather here is so nice! It's a little chilly in the morning, but the good thing is i'm not sweating like I do in Arkansas. I already learned my lesson about wearing sunscreen. Even though it's not as hot as Arkansas, the sun still works the same. I have a pretty sweet burn on my back which is now peeling. :(
I usually consider myself a morning person, but FCAV has definitely challenged me by getting up at 5:45 every moring for a devo/ quiet time. It has been hard to wake up so early, but it is so great to start of the morning meditating on God's word and spending time in prayer.
After our devo we have workouts or sand training. I love being able to workout outside (that is until it starts raining). We do our workouts at an ampitheater across the street. There are no dumbells, no machines, and no track. Who needs all that when you have a huge stage, blechers, a 120 ft. ramp, and a very steep grass hill? I was sore even after pre-testing and I rarely get sore. I should also mention that mmy trainer's arms are the size of my legs! He is pretty intense!
I've been surrounded by some great volleyball players- Jonathan Winder from the mens national team, Christa Harmatto from the womens national team, Tracy Stalls, and other current college players. We got to go watch the US national team play in a scrimmage this week and it was amazing! Sand volleyball is so much different than I thought. Obviously it is harder to run and jump in the sand than it is on court, but even the technique is so different. I love it though!! I definilty want to continue playing even after college.
This week we had training for small groups, camps, and began the genesis process, 1-1 meetings with staff, accountability walks, investment lady night, worship night, and attempting to come up with an idea that will save the world through volleyball. There is a lot to process still, but God is definitley leading this ministry and drawing people closer to Him.
Today we went to Laguna beach and got to play some volleyball. At first it was just FCAV buy after 3 hours we had about 10 new people and got to tell them what we were doing- a great ministry opportunity!
I am so grateful for the staff here. I have been wanting to live in a solid community like this for so long! I have so many amazing people around me who are loving me, challenging me, and helping me draw closer to God.
check out the video from week two!
http://vimeo.com/43533348
The weather here is so nice! It's a little chilly in the morning, but the good thing is i'm not sweating like I do in Arkansas. I already learned my lesson about wearing sunscreen. Even though it's not as hot as Arkansas, the sun still works the same. I have a pretty sweet burn on my back which is now peeling. :(
I usually consider myself a morning person, but FCAV has definitely challenged me by getting up at 5:45 every moring for a devo/ quiet time. It has been hard to wake up so early, but it is so great to start of the morning meditating on God's word and spending time in prayer.
After our devo we have workouts or sand training. I love being able to workout outside (that is until it starts raining). We do our workouts at an ampitheater across the street. There are no dumbells, no machines, and no track. Who needs all that when you have a huge stage, blechers, a 120 ft. ramp, and a very steep grass hill? I was sore even after pre-testing and I rarely get sore. I should also mention that mmy trainer's arms are the size of my legs! He is pretty intense!
I've been surrounded by some great volleyball players- Jonathan Winder from the mens national team, Christa Harmatto from the womens national team, Tracy Stalls, and other current college players. We got to go watch the US national team play in a scrimmage this week and it was amazing! Sand volleyball is so much different than I thought. Obviously it is harder to run and jump in the sand than it is on court, but even the technique is so different. I love it though!! I definilty want to continue playing even after college.
This week we had training for small groups, camps, and began the genesis process, 1-1 meetings with staff, accountability walks, investment lady night, worship night, and attempting to come up with an idea that will save the world through volleyball. There is a lot to process still, but God is definitley leading this ministry and drawing people closer to Him.
Today we went to Laguna beach and got to play some volleyball. At first it was just FCAV buy after 3 hours we had about 10 new people and got to tell them what we were doing- a great ministry opportunity!
I am so grateful for the staff here. I have been wanting to live in a solid community like this for so long! I have so many amazing people around me who are loving me, challenging me, and helping me draw closer to God.
check out the video from week two!
http://vimeo.com/43533348
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